Tag Archives: heart

Speak out!!

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If you will live a life of authenticity

If you will truly be yourself, the yourself you were meant to be.

Speak your truth, shout it, sing it, dance it, write it, get it out there.

If you believe you were not destined to rust out, to go gently into that good night.

If you believe you were here for a purpose.

DON’T pipe down, play it small, remain quiet….

Speak out!!!

Why you should go all in on YOU

Usually I do the major life review thing at New Year, but for some reason this year the urge came upon me on my birthday.  It wasn’t even that I’d decided to get all insightful and zen – to be honest I was just downright frustrated and fed up and this was what led to the break through.

I guess I realized that I no longer had anything to lose.  On the surface – large parts of my life had turned to sh**.  Like – living on savings, trying to find some kind of income, laptop blown up – making it really hard to blog, partner with diminished mobility due to failed surgery on his knee, winter, cold house.  BUMMER!  It sucked, and no matter what I did I couldn’t seem to gain traction on any of it.  So I gave up.   And that changed everything….

So often we hear from the likes of influencers like Gary Vaynerchuk and Tony Robbins that we need to be ourselves, be the best that we can be, be honest, be authentic.  And despite writing posts on it here and here I hadn’t realized that I still wasn’t being enough ME. Not nearly enough, not even halfway enough.   Which was weird, because that’s what I THOUGHT I totally was doing.   I wasn’t embracing my weird, my crazy and irreverentness (is that even a word?), my loudness, my colour, my impulsiveness,  all those things that I’d been criticized for all my life.  I looked at myself and realized I’d been playing it small.  Far too small.   And if you ever meet me, you’ll realize that I’m NOT a quiet play-it-small person.

Instead, on that brilliant birthday I made a decision to double down on the loud, the crazy, the irreverence, the weird, and if people didn’t like it…… well zero f**ks given.   Nothing else was working anyway so nothing to lose.   And in some weird the-universe-is-watching-you way it’s worked.  Like, INSTANTLY.

In the past two weeks, I’ve dyed my hair the reddest red I could find, thrown out all the black clothing and put together the most outrageous and colourful combinations I could imagine, turned up the stereo, got an awesome job (never expected that, the over-50 curse has been upon me lately) and figured out how to get around the broken laptop dilemma until I can afford a new one.  All because I decided to say f**k it, even if it meant selling the house, moving, and losing relationships.  Whew, is that a rollercoaster or what?

To all you regular readers, I apologize.  I’ve been a fraud.  This blog is all about living with #heart especially when you’re over 50 and have to start again from scratch, and up till now I realize that I haven’t been doing that honestly.  Even my writing has been measured and careful.   But no more..  Expect more SHOUTING, more rants, more crazy.  More passion too – but what a poor sad word that’s been  debased by the HR departments of big corporates.  Anyone for a self-starter who’s passionate about counting things??? Groan.  Actually I think crazy about covers it.

And the work….driving shuttle buses at the local skifields with an awesome crew of people.  And free skiing.  Did I mention free skiing????  Except not skiing,  this year I’m learning to board so it’s free riding.  AND getting to be in the mountains all day.

So if you’re at that place where I was not so long ago.  Give up, stop trying so hard, DON’T  try to change.  Double down on YOU, wallow in your you-ness and see what it brings you.  It might just be gold.

And if you’re wondering I’m FIFTY SIX YEARS experienced.  That’s the word.  Experience.  Not old.  Never old.  Just crazy!

Bring it on! Live with #heart!  And please read follow and share too!

Rob

PS my bus is the tiny one down the far end….

On Being Authentic

I had what Oprah calls an “aha” moment this morning during meditation.  It concerned the theme of my life.  You know how we all seem to have one overarching issue in our lives which keeps recurring until we deal with it?   For some it’s addiction,  for others it’s maintaining a long term relationship, or dealing with ill health.  Well for me it’s being true to myself.  And the myself that’s been showing up for a large part of my life has not been authentic.  It’s been the 1960’s white middle class female that I was brought up as.

Which would have been fine if it worked for me, but it didn’t.  All that good girl stuff about not being a tomboy, speaking quietly (well THAT didn’t work out!), being “a lady” whatever-the-hell-that-is.  I realized I’ve spent far too long fitting in, shutting up and shutting down.  Being quiet, not owning my feelings, my voice.  The recurring theme of my childhood was a parent saying ” you just have to be different don’t you?”  Ending up in a very conventional step-family didn’t help.  I seemed to be in trouble without even trying, just because I thought differently.  And being shamed for it.  Sadly, the result was that I tried so hard to fit in when I should have been running the other way.  Fast.  I always felt that there was something wrong with me.  I didn’t measure up and was somehow less worthy than everyone else and full of shame because of it.  And then to top it all off I became a librarian, how much more conventional can you get?    It’s getting harder and harder to stay in that box of conventionality where I’ve been all my life – the sides are bulging and the lid’s about to explode off.

After some fast walking and vigorous housework (always therapeutic!) today I decided game over.  End of. Caput. Fini.  The hell with fitting in.  I’ve finally grown up.

I chose my hashtag heart logo for this site because I wanted to live with heart.  All of my best decisions have been the ones where I’ve followed my heart and I’ve been authentic.  Now it’s time to put my money where my mouth is and actually do it.  Be creative, live life to the full and be the real me,  and on the way encourage others to do the same.  Life’s too short for anything else.

May this be of use to you

Rob

How to: Get Unstuck

Move your body, dance

This one is a major for me and I’ve only just discovered it.  Sad but true.  If I’m stuck I now MOVE.  And that means stuck with anything, life, writing, finances, any kind of problem, I move.

Moving means just that – it doesn’t have to be fancy, do whatever floats your boat.  Jiggle in your chair if you can’t do anything else.  If you don’t believe it works watch this video of Jesse Shand and be incredibly inspired.  It’s 21 minutes but worth the time.

Some of the things I do are:

  1.  Dance to music in my head, and not just in the privacy of my own home.  One of the beauties of being over 50 is that you being to not give a sh** about what other people think.  It’s incredibly freeing.
  2. Put some real dance music on and go for it.  LOUDLY!
  3. Short bursts of high intensity exercise – burpees, press-ups, star jumps, anything.
  4. Go for a run or a good long walk.

Whatever happens I come back refreshed and often with a solution, or at the very least I feel a whole heap better about the situation.  My non-scientific explanation for this is that it gets you out of your head and back into your body and for some reason this really WORKS.  Scientists would probably say that it’s something to do with the movement revving up endorphins in the brain.  Who cares.  Just try it.  It really freakin’ works!

May this be of use to you

Robx

 

 

Why Adventures?

adventures, explore, freedom

This blog is called Adventures Before Dementia because I aim to fit in as many as humanly possible before I shuffle off this mortal coil.  Hopefully by having an excess of Adventures the Dementia part of the title will never happen or at least be as minimal as possible!   I aim to have all kinds of adventures and not just travel ones, even if they are my most favourite kind.   Adventures of the mind, the heart, the soul, adventures of the spirit and last but by no means least, creative adventures.

Why?  Just because.  Just because everybody needs Adventures, proper ones spelt with a capital letter.  Serious Adventures.  We need them in order to grow as individuals.  We need them to make our life interesting, to give us something to look forward to and something to remember in the dark days of winter, we need them to rise above the humdrum, the run of the mill.  For in adventuring we find freedom……

May this be of use to you

Rob

How To Find A Mentor For Free

mentor, online, finances, free, learning, self help,

Two words:  Look online.  Back in the day to find a mentor,  the standard advice was to do your research and find someone in your industry that you respected and whom you thought might be helpful and then write to phone them with a request to mentor you.  I’ve always found this approach cringe worthy.  I really really really dislike the whole attitude of asking someone to be your mentor when you don’t know them because it’s an enormous ask and a significant time commitment for the other person, so why should they bother, what’s in it for them?

We are so fortunate now that we can access the world’s knowledge online.  We don’t need to awkwardly ask a stranger for a favour to be our mentor.   There is knowledge from the world’s greatest in any given sphere of accomplishment online at the drop of an internet connection.  Lucky old us –  we can now learn for free from so many amazing people.  I need repetition for something to stick, so  I can watch You Tube videos or listen to podcasts over and over and over again until I’ve got the point.   Fortunately I don’t need to go to the thousand dollar seminar ten times.   And the wonderful thing is that this is all available to us for zilch, nada, nothing.

Apart from a bad Amazon Kindle habit I hardly ever pay for information online – most of what I need is free and I can try out dozens of different options to see which work best for me and are aligned with my values.   Every day sees another offer for an e-course come into my inbox or Facebook feed, most of which are from people I’ve never heard of and I really do wonder why they think I should buy their courses.   At present I’m happy to ignore the whole lot and do my own research until I’ve developed a little more discretion, and a little more clarity about the exact things I need to learn and who I want to learn them from.

Personal finances and investing are my weak point, so I am investigating sources of information for that right now.  What do I want from a  mentor?  Someone to copy, someone to tell me where I’m going wrong, to point me in the right direction, to kick me in the butt if necessary, to inspire me.  Most definitely to inspire me.

But most of all mentors are people I’d like to curl up with on a comfy sofa in the corner of a room with a good bottle of red wine and have a long and far reaching chat with.  It’s that simple.  Imagine doing that with Tim Ferriss or Oprah or my favourite of the moment – Tony Robbins.  They’re not that special or different from the rest of us, they don’t have superpowers – they’ve just been through tough times and they’ve made it out the other side successfully.  We can learn from them.  The only real difference is that they didn’t give up on their dreams.  These people grind it out, are focused and know exactly where they’re going.

It’s not just the big name celebrities who are worth watching/listening to either- there are loads of videos on You Tube from  ordinary people doing cool stuff and living their dreams.  We just need to watch listen and learn and realize that if anyone has done this before then we can too.  

So check out You Tube, Reddit and Podcast Addict.  Dive down that internet wormhole and see where it leads you.  Listen, learn and most of all TAKE ACTION.  I wish you well my friend.

May this be of use to you

Rob

 

 

I’m A Warrior – What’s Your Archetype?

warrior, military strong goals woman

Can a 55 year old woman with two kids and a husband be a warrior?  Hell yeah.

As much as anything being a warrior is an archetype, a mindset, an attitude to life.

I’ve had a few challenges lately.  I think the Universe has been trying to tell me something about my usual mild mannered ways.  I’m the typical Taurean bull – quiet and peaceful and sucks it up for ages until I’ve had enough and then there’s an explosion that you really don’t want to be around for.   There’s been a number of individuals that I’ve come across recently who have been down right obnoxious and bullying, and I’ve caught the sharp end of their temper.  One of them even chased me into a bar to inform me what a horrible person I was.  My daughter nearly peed herself laughing when I told her about it.  As she put it “Mum was in a bar fight!” Thanks babes.  I’ve a feeling that I really need to grow up and gain a backbone or I’ll suffer this crap for the rest of my life, which is not an appealing prospect.

I’ve always loved hard stuff.  I  don’t mind physical or for that matter mental hardship and I relish a challenge.  So from now on I’m taking on my warrior archetype, until it is no longer useful and there is a tiny ninja turtle figure on my windowsill to remind me to harden up.

So what is an archetype?  According to Dictionary.com they are:

An original model after which other similar things are patterned. In the psychology of Carl Jung, archetypes are the images, patterns, and symbols that rise out of the collective unconscious and appear in dreams, mythology, and fairy tales.

So the Warrior archetype would be a kind of universal symbol of a warrior  of which most of us would agree on the qualities personified.  A warrior should exhibit for example :

  • Strength (both inner and outer)
  • Courage
  • Physical fitness
  • Control
  • Patience
  • Leadership
  • Ability to work alone
  • On a quest
  • Confidence
  • Takes no crap
  • Slightly scary……

Where I am going with this post, is that I believe that at certain points  we need to take on the mantle of another personality to enable us to get on with our lives.  At the moment I really need to be a Warrior, but I could see that perhaps later in life I could take on the mantle of a Sage or a Poet or a Mystic to fulfill my purpose.

Now every morning I meditate on what it is to be a Warrior and feel my inner strength and courage.  Please don’t let it take a “bar fight” for you to discover yours!

May this be of use to you

Rob