Tag Archives: freedom

Why you should go all in on YOU

Usually I do the major life review thing at New Year, but for some reason this year the urge came upon me on my birthday.  It wasn’t even that I’d decided to get all insightful and zen – to be honest I was just downright frustrated and fed up and this was what led to the break through.

I guess I realized that I no longer had anything to lose.  On the surface – large parts of my life had turned to sh**.  Like – living on savings, trying to find some kind of income, laptop blown up – making it really hard to blog, partner with diminished mobility due to failed surgery on his knee, winter, cold house.  BUMMER!  It sucked, and no matter what I did I couldn’t seem to gain traction on any of it.  So I gave up.   And that changed everything….

So often we hear from the likes of influencers like Gary Vaynerchuk and Tony Robbins that we need to be ourselves, be the best that we can be, be honest, be authentic.  And despite writing posts on it here and here I hadn’t realized that I still wasn’t being enough ME. Not nearly enough, not even halfway enough.   Which was weird, because that’s what I THOUGHT I totally was doing.   I wasn’t embracing my weird, my crazy and irreverentness (is that even a word?), my loudness, my colour, my impulsiveness,  all those things that I’d been criticized for all my life.  I looked at myself and realized I’d been playing it small.  Far too small.   And if you ever meet me, you’ll realize that I’m NOT a quiet play-it-small person.

Instead, on that brilliant birthday I made a decision to double down on the loud, the crazy, the irreverence, the weird, and if people didn’t like it…… well zero f**ks given.   Nothing else was working anyway so nothing to lose.   And in some weird the-universe-is-watching-you way it’s worked.  Like, INSTANTLY.

In the past two weeks, I’ve dyed my hair the reddest red I could find, thrown out all the black clothing and put together the most outrageous and colourful combinations I could imagine, turned up the stereo, got an awesome job (never expected that, the over-50 curse has been upon me lately) and figured out how to get around the broken laptop dilemma until I can afford a new one.  All because I decided to say f**k it, even if it meant selling the house, moving, and losing relationships.  Whew, is that a rollercoaster or what?

To all you regular readers, I apologize.  I’ve been a fraud.  This blog is all about living with #heart especially when you’re over 50 and have to start again from scratch, and up till now I realize that I haven’t been doing that honestly.  Even my writing has been measured and careful.   But no more..  Expect more SHOUTING, more rants, more crazy.  More passion too – but what a poor sad word that’s been  debased by the HR departments of big corporates.  Anyone for a self-starter who’s passionate about counting things??? Groan.  Actually I think crazy about covers it.

And the work….driving shuttle buses at the local skifields with an awesome crew of people.  And free skiing.  Did I mention free skiing????  Except not skiing,  this year I’m learning to board so it’s free riding.  AND getting to be in the mountains all day.

So if you’re at that place where I was not so long ago.  Give up, stop trying so hard, DON’T  try to change.  Double down on YOU, wallow in your you-ness and see what it brings you.  It might just be gold.

And if you’re wondering I’m FIFTY SIX YEARS experienced.  That’s the word.  Experience.  Not old.  Never old.  Just crazy!

Bring it on! Live with #heart!  And please read follow and share too!

Rob

PS my bus is the tiny one down the far end….

I’m On A Mission: Money Should Be Fun

Right.  I’m going to confess.  I am sh** at money, at finance, investments and all those worthy subjects that other, proper grown up people know all about.   It’s the major obstacle between me and my ideal life.  In the past I would rather have stuck forks in my eyeballs than spend any time learning about money.

BUT it is the one thing standing between me and my ideal life….which includes flying first class on Emirates and plenty of travel.  That’s not coming cheap!    So I’ve decided that I need to get an education and fast.  And if I’m struggling with this stuff then I’ll bet that plenty of other people are too.  What’s more it shouldn’t be rocket science, after all I’m the proud possessor of two degrees I should be able to figure this stuff out.  And it shouldn’t take two degrees anyway!

Even more this stuff should be fun!  Life’s too short  to waste time studying something that isn’t.  For something that’s so essential to all of us money/finances/investment has been hijacked by  white middle class males into a boring inaccessible subject.  Well I’m on a mission to remove the snore factor.

If you feel that  your financial education has been sorely lacking until now join me, I’ll be sharing my journey to get a financial education by posting about it once a week on this blog.   So follow me!   Tell your friends.  Let’s set the world on fire.  Money should be fun!

May this be of use to you

Robx

On Being Authentic

I had what Oprah calls an “aha” moment this morning during meditation.  It concerned the theme of my life.  You know how we all seem to have one overarching issue in our lives which keeps recurring until we deal with it?   For some it’s addiction,  for others it’s maintaining a long term relationship, or dealing with ill health.  Well for me it’s being true to myself.  And the myself that’s been showing up for a large part of my life has not been authentic.  It’s been the 1960’s white middle class female that I was brought up as.

Which would have been fine if it worked for me, but it didn’t.  All that good girl stuff about not being a tomboy, speaking quietly (well THAT didn’t work out!), being “a lady” whatever-the-hell-that-is.  I realized I’ve spent far too long fitting in, shutting up and shutting down.  Being quiet, not owning my feelings, my voice.  The recurring theme of my childhood was a parent saying ” you just have to be different don’t you?”  Ending up in a very conventional step-family didn’t help.  I seemed to be in trouble without even trying, just because I thought differently.  And being shamed for it.  Sadly, the result was that I tried so hard to fit in when I should have been running the other way.  Fast.  I always felt that there was something wrong with me.  I didn’t measure up and was somehow less worthy than everyone else and full of shame because of it.  And then to top it all off I became a librarian, how much more conventional can you get?    It’s getting harder and harder to stay in that box of conventionality where I’ve been all my life – the sides are bulging and the lid’s about to explode off.

After some fast walking and vigorous housework (always therapeutic!) today I decided game over.  End of. Caput. Fini.  The hell with fitting in.  I’ve finally grown up.

I chose my hashtag heart logo for this site because I wanted to live with heart.  All of my best decisions have been the ones where I’ve followed my heart and I’ve been authentic.  Now it’s time to put my money where my mouth is and actually do it.  Be creative, live life to the full and be the real me,  and on the way encourage others to do the same.  Life’s too short for anything else.

May this be of use to you

Rob

How to: Get Unstuck

Move your body, dance

This one is a major for me and I’ve only just discovered it.  Sad but true.  If I’m stuck I now MOVE.  And that means stuck with anything, life, writing, finances, any kind of problem, I move.

Moving means just that – it doesn’t have to be fancy, do whatever floats your boat.  Jiggle in your chair if you can’t do anything else.  If you don’t believe it works watch this video of Jesse Shand and be incredibly inspired.  It’s 21 minutes but worth the time.

Some of the things I do are:

  1.  Dance to music in my head, and not just in the privacy of my own home.  One of the beauties of being over 50 is that you being to not give a sh** about what other people think.  It’s incredibly freeing.
  2. Put some real dance music on and go for it.  LOUDLY!
  3. Short bursts of high intensity exercise – burpees, press-ups, star jumps, anything.
  4. Go for a run or a good long walk.

Whatever happens I come back refreshed and often with a solution, or at the very least I feel a whole heap better about the situation.  My non-scientific explanation for this is that it gets you out of your head and back into your body and for some reason this really WORKS.  Scientists would probably say that it’s something to do with the movement revving up endorphins in the brain.  Who cares.  Just try it.  It really freakin’ works!

May this be of use to you

Robx

 

 

Nailed It!

 

bird-759545_1920

When we first moved into our home nearly 20 years ago, the two goals that I had for this place were to feel as if you were entering into a personal Eden when you walked through the gate and to be able to see and hear the songbirds in the trees close to the windows.  The Eden one has been well and truly achieved for some time, but the songbirds have taken much longer – they’re all around the garden, and occasionally we will see one in a tree close to the house.

As of this morning I’ve nailed both of those goals.  Big Time.  I sat down at the computer to write this post and heard birdsong – I looked up and in the tree outside the window (I’m in a second storey room) was a Tui singing (listen to one here) and looking straight at me.  As he sang two of his friends came and joined him.  I’m sitting here literally crying as I write this.  I’ve done it, I’ve reached my goal and what’s more I’ve blasted right through it.  Oh. My. God.  What is even more incredible, and slightly uncanny was that this morning I was planning on writing a post about reprogramming my life.  It was as if the Universe was telling me.  You’re right Rob – you’ve achieved the stuff you wanted to in the first half, but now it’s time to go for it with the next part.  I’ve got so many ideas about what I want to do with this blog, and other social media accounts that I can’t wait.

I’m off for a celebratory cup of coffee and to plan my next post.  See you tomorrow.

May this be of use to you

Robx

Why Adventures?

adventures, explore, freedom

This blog is called Adventures Before Dementia because I aim to fit in as many as humanly possible before I shuffle off this mortal coil.  Hopefully by having an excess of Adventures the Dementia part of the title will never happen or at least be as minimal as possible!   I aim to have all kinds of adventures and not just travel ones, even if they are my most favourite kind.   Adventures of the mind, the heart, the soul, adventures of the spirit and last but by no means least, creative adventures.

Why?  Just because.  Just because everybody needs Adventures, proper ones spelt with a capital letter.  Serious Adventures.  We need them in order to grow as individuals.  We need them to make our life interesting, to give us something to look forward to and something to remember in the dark days of winter, we need them to rise above the humdrum, the run of the mill.  For in adventuring we find freedom……

May this be of use to you

Rob

Why I’m Focusing On The Fundamentals And Why You Should Too!

fundamentals  money basics everyday

I’m listening to my teacher/mentor Tony Robbins every morning and one of his teachings which has really struck home is to focus on the fundamentals.  Obvious right?  Ha, not for some of us!  I’m one of those people who can “get” an idea intellectually quickly.  I can analyze it, discuss it, play around with it, and build on it and move on to the next thing. But do it?   Yeah right.  So there’s a need to get out of my head, stop planning and take some massive action.

On reflection though, it turns out that I have been focusing on some fundamental stuff this year – my diet and workouts.

This is what I do:  20 push ups, 20 sit ups, 20 squats, 10 attempts at a pistol squat on each leg. Every day up to three times a day.  Plus cardio.  It turns out that these are my physical fundamentals.  My dietary fundamentals are pretty basic.  Don’t eat crap – no sugar, no processed food.  Lots of fruit and veges.  I was beginning to wonder if it was worthwhile and if I needed to change things up, but after listening to Tony Robbins I think I’ll continue to keep it simple and practice these few things until I have them perfected and only then build on them.

When it comes to Social Media it’s all about posting regular, quality content, which is a matter of practice makes perfect.  So I commit to posting every day the best quality content I can possibly produce and researching on how to improve that content.

So the physical stuff is sorted and the social media stuff is sorted, but when it comes to financial stuff what ARE the fundamentals.  How can I focus on them in order to achieve the results I want?  I guess it would have to be three things:

  1. Earn more
  2. Spend less than I earn
  3. Save/invest the rest

This is where it all gets a bit sticky.  Oh shame.  I am a total failure in this department.  The cold hard truth is that I need to earn more and I need to focus on doing it.  Every.  Single. Day.  Otherwise that $100 000 income is but a dream and a pathetic one at that.

So why is this stuff so important?  It’s not about having swimming pools and private jets.  It’s because in attaining our goals we earn self respect.  We learn, we become a different person in the process and because for me anyway, and I suspect for many others we gain freedom.  Freedom to choose.  Freedom to live our lives to their utmost and to become the people we always dreamed of being.

May this be of use to you

Rob