Tag Archives: finances

What I’m Reading: Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

THIS BOOK HAS ALREADY SAVED ME WHAT IT COST TO BUY AND MORE!

How often do we read books, get all fired up about them, think to ourselves how awesome they are, but then somehow never use the techniques proposed within to radically change our lives, as the claims on the cover would have us believe?  This is one book that will change all that.

If, like me, you have struggled with negotiation and sales in the past then  Never Split the Difference: negotiating as if your life depended on it  by Chris Voss really will change your life.  Voss is an ex cop from Kansas City turned senior FBI hostage negotiator, and now freelance consultant.  The techniques he learned in the course of his career have been distilled into nine principles we can all use when negotiating purchases, pay rises, and relationship issues over the course of our personal and professional lives.  As Voss would have it, life is one big negotiation.  Voss’s techniques are quite different to the traditional Harvard style negotiation, which I’d been taught in a previous life (and which I struggled to apply).  They are far more intuitive and behaviour based – about really getting inside your counterpart’s head and understanding where they are coming from.  There’s a lot of listening involved.

So just how did this book save me money?  I needed to return a purchase and the store were being particularly staunch about their returns policy – unreasonably so, I felt.  After two unsuccessful visits and a bunch of headbanging I remembered I’d bought this book.  I re read it, returned to see the manager, using my “late night DJ voice” and some careful open ended questions until we had a “that’s right” moment and she caved. A refund ensued.  There was only a little bit of high fiving as we got to the car park!

So buy it here – and yes I’m an Amazon associate so I do get a small commission, but I wouldn’t recommend anything I don’t absolutely love.

Live with heart

Robx

 

 

 

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How To Recognize Your Wealth Wounds

money wounds money tree

Now that I’m back in the groove again, I want to start out right away and ‘fess up that writing this post is truly buttock-clenching.  I am sharing in the hope that anyone in the same situation as me might find some encouragement to deal with their money issues.  I have some beliefs around money that are seriously limiting me and I’m going to be writing a series about what I’m doing to heal myself of these.

So what exactly IS a wealth wound?  It’s a negative belief associated with wealth.  I’ve got Tony Robbins to thank for recognizing these, which I might add are many and varied.  You name it, I’ve got it when it comes to wealth wounds and so in the name of naming, shaming and ultimately healing here’s my list.

  • Money doesn’t grow on trees
  • There’s not enough to go around
  • It’s too expensive
  • We can’t afford it
  • Money is dirty
  • Money is shameful
  • It’s greedy to want more than the absolute minimum
  • You have to do bad things to get it
  • People who have lots of money are shallow
  • I am not worthy of financial abundance
  • You have to work hard and sell your soul to get money
  • Money is the root of all evil
  • People who have lots of money “stand on other people’s necks to get it”

Now that they’re all written down and not spinning around in my head causing chaos they’re laughable.  And conflicting.  That last one is outstanding –  I can remember being told that quite clearly and evidently it’s hung around doing no good whatsoever.  Clearly these beliefs are not serving me well and it is TIME FOR THEM TO BEGONE!

For many,  especially us baby boomers we absorbed these lessons in childhood either consciously or unconsciously and we’ve been carting them round behind us like heavy luggage ever since.  Well its time to drop those bags!

So how do we recognize our wealth wounds:

  1. Gather together your ingredients – a pencil, lots of paper and half an hour of uninterrupted time
  2. Set a timer for ten minutes and write down any beliefs you have associated with money.  If you’re finding it hard to get into the groove start with positive beliefs and  eventually the negative ones will crawl out from where they’ve been hiding.
  3. When time is up, corral all the negatives on to one clean sheet of paper.
  4. Read them and laugh – aren’t they absurd when written down?  And frequently conflicting.
  5. Now that you’ve recognized them, take some big deep breaths (because if you’re like me this would have been painful) and give yourself a massive pat on the back.  Congratulations!  You’ve taken the first step.

May this be of use to you.

Robx

 

I’m On A Mission: Money Should Be Fun

Right.  I’m going to confess.  I am sh** at money, at finance, investments and all those worthy subjects that other, proper grown up people know all about.   It’s the major obstacle between me and my ideal life.  In the past I would rather have stuck forks in my eyeballs than spend any time learning about money.

BUT it is the one thing standing between me and my ideal life….which includes flying first class on Emirates and plenty of travel.  That’s not coming cheap!    So I’ve decided that I need to get an education and fast.  And if I’m struggling with this stuff then I’ll bet that plenty of other people are too.  What’s more it shouldn’t be rocket science, after all I’m the proud possessor of two degrees I should be able to figure this stuff out.  And it shouldn’t take two degrees anyway!

Even more this stuff should be fun!  Life’s too short  to waste time studying something that isn’t.  For something that’s so essential to all of us money/finances/investment has been hijacked by  white middle class males into a boring inaccessible subject.  Well I’m on a mission to remove the snore factor.

If you feel that  your financial education has been sorely lacking until now join me, I’ll be sharing my journey to get a financial education by posting about it once a week on this blog.   So follow me!   Tell your friends.  Let’s set the world on fire.  Money should be fun!

May this be of use to you

Robx

How To Find A Mentor For Free

mentor, online, finances, free, learning, self help,

Two words:  Look online.  Back in the day to find a mentor,  the standard advice was to do your research and find someone in your industry that you respected and whom you thought might be helpful and then write to phone them with a request to mentor you.  I’ve always found this approach cringe worthy.  I really really really dislike the whole attitude of asking someone to be your mentor when you don’t know them because it’s an enormous ask and a significant time commitment for the other person, so why should they bother, what’s in it for them?

We are so fortunate now that we can access the world’s knowledge online.  We don’t need to awkwardly ask a stranger for a favour to be our mentor.   There is knowledge from the world’s greatest in any given sphere of accomplishment online at the drop of an internet connection.  Lucky old us –  we can now learn for free from so many amazing people.  I need repetition for something to stick, so  I can watch You Tube videos or listen to podcasts over and over and over again until I’ve got the point.   Fortunately I don’t need to go to the thousand dollar seminar ten times.   And the wonderful thing is that this is all available to us for zilch, nada, nothing.

Apart from a bad Amazon Kindle habit I hardly ever pay for information online – most of what I need is free and I can try out dozens of different options to see which work best for me and are aligned with my values.   Every day sees another offer for an e-course come into my inbox or Facebook feed, most of which are from people I’ve never heard of and I really do wonder why they think I should buy their courses.   At present I’m happy to ignore the whole lot and do my own research until I’ve developed a little more discretion, and a little more clarity about the exact things I need to learn and who I want to learn them from.

Personal finances and investing are my weak point, so I am investigating sources of information for that right now.  What do I want from a  mentor?  Someone to copy, someone to tell me where I’m going wrong, to point me in the right direction, to kick me in the butt if necessary, to inspire me.  Most definitely to inspire me.

But most of all mentors are people I’d like to curl up with on a comfy sofa in the corner of a room with a good bottle of red wine and have a long and far reaching chat with.  It’s that simple.  Imagine doing that with Tim Ferriss or Oprah or my favourite of the moment – Tony Robbins.  They’re not that special or different from the rest of us, they don’t have superpowers – they’ve just been through tough times and they’ve made it out the other side successfully.  We can learn from them.  The only real difference is that they didn’t give up on their dreams.  These people grind it out, are focused and know exactly where they’re going.

It’s not just the big name celebrities who are worth watching/listening to either- there are loads of videos on You Tube from  ordinary people doing cool stuff and living their dreams.  We just need to watch listen and learn and realize that if anyone has done this before then we can too.  

So check out You Tube, Reddit and Podcast Addict.  Dive down that internet wormhole and see where it leads you.  Listen, learn and most of all TAKE ACTION.  I wish you well my friend.

May this be of use to you

Rob

 

 

Why I’m Focusing On The Fundamentals And Why You Should Too!

fundamentals  money basics everyday

I’m listening to my teacher/mentor Tony Robbins every morning and one of his teachings which has really struck home is to focus on the fundamentals.  Obvious right?  Ha, not for some of us!  I’m one of those people who can “get” an idea intellectually quickly.  I can analyze it, discuss it, play around with it, and build on it and move on to the next thing. But do it?   Yeah right.  So there’s a need to get out of my head, stop planning and take some massive action.

On reflection though, it turns out that I have been focusing on some fundamental stuff this year – my diet and workouts.

This is what I do:  20 push ups, 20 sit ups, 20 squats, 10 attempts at a pistol squat on each leg. Every day up to three times a day.  Plus cardio.  It turns out that these are my physical fundamentals.  My dietary fundamentals are pretty basic.  Don’t eat crap – no sugar, no processed food.  Lots of fruit and veges.  I was beginning to wonder if it was worthwhile and if I needed to change things up, but after listening to Tony Robbins I think I’ll continue to keep it simple and practice these few things until I have them perfected and only then build on them.

When it comes to Social Media it’s all about posting regular, quality content, which is a matter of practice makes perfect.  So I commit to posting every day the best quality content I can possibly produce and researching on how to improve that content.

So the physical stuff is sorted and the social media stuff is sorted, but when it comes to financial stuff what ARE the fundamentals.  How can I focus on them in order to achieve the results I want?  I guess it would have to be three things:

  1. Earn more
  2. Spend less than I earn
  3. Save/invest the rest

This is where it all gets a bit sticky.  Oh shame.  I am a total failure in this department.  The cold hard truth is that I need to earn more and I need to focus on doing it.  Every.  Single. Day.  Otherwise that $100 000 income is but a dream and a pathetic one at that.

So why is this stuff so important?  It’s not about having swimming pools and private jets.  It’s because in attaining our goals we earn self respect.  We learn, we become a different person in the process and because for me anyway, and I suspect for many others we gain freedom.  Freedom to choose.  Freedom to live our lives to their utmost and to become the people we always dreamed of being.

May this be of use to you

Rob

 

 

 

 

Goals revisited

 

Goals, workharder

The photo at the top of this piece pretty much says it all.  I need to work harder.  Most of us need to work harder.  We think things should be handed to us on a plate, but the truth is, anything that comes that easy isn’t valued.  For a thing to be treasured there must be work involved and the overcoming of difficulties.  Especially the overcoming of difficulties, for it is this that allows us to grow as individuals.  In the past I’ve set goals but really they’ve been more like dreams and I’ve never achieved any of them.

Anyway, I’ve decided to share my goals.  If you look back at previous posts I have written about goals you will see that the specific goals have changed somewhat.  That’s because in learning about myself I’ve been able to refine what I really really want.  I’m also learning that I need to change my associations with some of the things I’m working towards or I’ll never achieve them, because my subconscious is working against me.  Y’all hear me subconscious?? We need to be in this boat together and rowing in the same direction.  For example I have reframed exercise into something that gives me energy, strength and confidence as opposed to making me out of breath and anxious.  Big difference.

So here’s my goals for 2017.  Laugh if you like.  No don’t.  This is really a piece of my heart, and I’m sharing in the hope that it helps someone else.

  1.  Weigh 70kg or less
  2. Have earned $100,000 or more
  3. Have 1000 plus followers on social media

All to be achieved by 31 December 2017.   Or bust.

What I’ve learned is that if I don’t track them very closely progress slips;  I kind of lose focus, so everything gets recorded on my wall calendar and so far it’s working well, except for number two.  I AM earning, but nowhere near that much.  I’m focusing on cultivating abundance and recording my earnings each day, as well as being open to ideas to create extra income streams.  If anyone has any bright ideas do let me know!!

Anyway here I am at 9.00pm writing this and two more crappy pages, after a full on day cleaning cars.  This is me working harder.

May this be of use to you-:)