All posts by Rob Robertson

Speak out!!

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If you will live a life of authenticity

If you will truly be yourself, the yourself you were meant to be.

Speak your truth, shout it, sing it, dance it, write it, get it out there.

If you believe you were not destined to rust out, to go gently into that good night.

If you believe you were here for a purpose.

DON’T pipe down, play it small, remain quiet….

Speak out!!!

Why you should go all in on YOU

Usually I do the major life review thing at New Year, but for some reason this year the urge came upon me on my birthday.  It wasn’t even that I’d decided to get all insightful and zen – to be honest I was just downright frustrated and fed up and this was what led to the break through.

I guess I realized that I no longer had anything to lose.  On the surface – large parts of my life had turned to sh**.  Like – living on savings, trying to find some kind of income, laptop blown up – making it really hard to blog, partner with diminished mobility due to failed surgery on his knee, winter, cold house.  BUMMER!  It sucked, and no matter what I did I couldn’t seem to gain traction on any of it.  So I gave up.   And that changed everything….

So often we hear from the likes of influencers like Gary Vaynerchuk and Tony Robbins that we need to be ourselves, be the best that we can be, be honest, be authentic.  And despite writing posts on it here and here I hadn’t realized that I still wasn’t being enough ME. Not nearly enough, not even halfway enough.   Which was weird, because that’s what I THOUGHT I totally was doing.   I wasn’t embracing my weird, my crazy and irreverentness (is that even a word?), my loudness, my colour, my impulsiveness,  all those things that I’d been criticized for all my life.  I looked at myself and realized I’d been playing it small.  Far too small.   And if you ever meet me, you’ll realize that I’m NOT a quiet play-it-small person.

Instead, on that brilliant birthday I made a decision to double down on the loud, the crazy, the irreverence, the weird, and if people didn’t like it…… well zero f**ks given.   Nothing else was working anyway so nothing to lose.   And in some weird the-universe-is-watching-you way it’s worked.  Like, INSTANTLY.

In the past two weeks, I’ve dyed my hair the reddest red I could find, thrown out all the black clothing and put together the most outrageous and colourful combinations I could imagine, turned up the stereo, got an awesome job (never expected that, the over-50 curse has been upon me lately) and figured out how to get around the broken laptop dilemma until I can afford a new one.  All because I decided to say f**k it, even if it meant selling the house, moving, and losing relationships.  Whew, is that a rollercoaster or what?

To all you regular readers, I apologize.  I’ve been a fraud.  This blog is all about living with #heart especially when you’re over 50 and have to start again from scratch, and up till now I realize that I haven’t been doing that honestly.  Even my writing has been measured and careful.   But no more..  Expect more SHOUTING, more rants, more crazy.  More passion too – but what a poor sad word that’s been  debased by the HR departments of big corporates.  Anyone for a self-starter who’s passionate about counting things??? Groan.  Actually I think crazy about covers it.

And the work….driving shuttle buses at the local skifields with an awesome crew of people.  And free skiing.  Did I mention free skiing????  Except not skiing,  this year I’m learning to board so it’s free riding.  AND getting to be in the mountains all day.

So if you’re at that place where I was not so long ago.  Give up, stop trying so hard, DON’T  try to change.  Double down on YOU, wallow in your you-ness and see what it brings you.  It might just be gold.

And if you’re wondering I’m FIFTY SIX YEARS experienced.  That’s the word.  Experience.  Not old.  Never old.  Just crazy!

Bring it on! Live with #heart!  And please read follow and share too!

Rob

PS my bus is the tiny one down the far end….

#dowhatyoucan’t

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This summer has been all about earning money driving international visitors all over the lower South Island of New Zealand, which has meant that I haven’t had much time for my own outdoors adventuring.  I’ve been working on self development adventures instead.  Recently three of us had a day trip up Roy’s Peak.  It was sooooo good to get out in the hills for a change.  As you can see in the photo above the day was glorious and there was hardly a breath of wind – quite unexpected for this time of year.  In case you are wondering that’s me on the left in my snazzy Adventures Before Dementia t shirt with my good friend John beside me.

The point of all this is that it’s not about three people climbing a peak.  Two of them strolled up it – yes you John and Lizzie.  But one of them didn’t – no surprises who that was.  Yes moi, me, yours truly.  I admit it here now and in public .  I struggled going up that goddamn hill.  I huffed and puffed and plodded.  I’ve always been ashamed of the fact that I’ve struggled whenever I’ve climbed anything of any consequence.  I’ve been up a few peaks by this stage in my life and if there’s is someone sweating and puffing and going reallllly slowly, chances are that it will be me.  It’s literally one foot in front of another, plodding.  So embarrassing.  BUT dammit I do it.  I get there eventually and nothing but nothing can take that achievement away.

So isn’t this a metaphor for our lives?  Why are we so ashamed when we’re making a good honest effort?  We may not be as fast as others or as able, or skilled, or agile, or clever, or whatever, but with determination we will get there in the end.  We need to embrace our struggles, for these become our adventures, these are what make us and what ultimately become our greatest triumphs.  In the heart of every difficulty there  lies the seed of its solution.  Your bump in the road may be someone else’s Mt Everest.  So don’t laugh next time you see someone struggling with ANYTHING – give them a high five instead.  They’re going at their own pace but at least they’re out there trying .  At least they are having adventures and #doingwhattheycan’t.

Inspiration for this post came in part from a Casey Neistat video – watch it here.  Don’t let anything stop you, be the man or woman in the arena, face marred by blood and dust, striving valiantly.   Do what you can’t, have the adventure, live the dream, be the person on the iceberg (you need to watch the video to get that!)

And if you see me sweating up a hill one day, stop and say hi – I could probably use the rest!

 

Cheers

Robx

 

 

 

 

What I’m Reading: Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

THIS BOOK HAS ALREADY SAVED ME WHAT IT COST TO BUY AND MORE!

How often do we read books, get all fired up about them, think to ourselves how awesome they are, but then somehow never use the techniques proposed within to radically change our lives, as the claims on the cover would have us believe?  This is one book that will change all that.

If, like me, you have struggled with negotiation and sales in the past then  Never Split the Difference: negotiating as if your life depended on it  by Chris Voss really will change your life.  Voss is an ex cop from Kansas City turned senior FBI hostage negotiator, and now freelance consultant.  The techniques he learned in the course of his career have been distilled into nine principles we can all use when negotiating purchases, pay rises, and relationship issues over the course of our personal and professional lives.  As Voss would have it, life is one big negotiation.  Voss’s techniques are quite different to the traditional Harvard style negotiation, which I’d been taught in a previous life (and which I struggled to apply).  They are far more intuitive and behaviour based – about really getting inside your counterpart’s head and understanding where they are coming from.  There’s a lot of listening involved.

So just how did this book save me money?  I needed to return a purchase and the store were being particularly staunch about their returns policy – unreasonably so, I felt.  After two unsuccessful visits and a bunch of headbanging I remembered I’d bought this book.  I re read it, returned to see the manager, using my “late night DJ voice” and some careful open ended questions until we had a “that’s right” moment and she caved. A refund ensued.  There was only a little bit of high fiving as we got to the car park!

So buy it here – and yes I’m an Amazon associate so I do get a small commission, but I wouldn’t recommend anything I don’t absolutely love.

Live with heart

Robx

 

 

 

How To Recognize Your Wealth Wounds

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Now that I’m back in the groove again, I want to start out right away and ‘fess up that writing this post is truly buttock-clenching.  I am sharing in the hope that anyone in the same situation as me might find some encouragement to deal with their money issues.  I have some beliefs around money that are seriously limiting me and I’m going to be writing a series about what I’m doing to heal myself of these.

So what exactly IS a wealth wound?  It’s a negative belief associated with wealth.  I’ve got Tony Robbins to thank for recognizing these, which I might add are many and varied.  You name it, I’ve got it when it comes to wealth wounds and so in the name of naming, shaming and ultimately healing here’s my list.

  • Money doesn’t grow on trees
  • There’s not enough to go around
  • It’s too expensive
  • We can’t afford it
  • Money is dirty
  • Money is shameful
  • It’s greedy to want more than the absolute minimum
  • You have to do bad things to get it
  • People who have lots of money are shallow
  • I am not worthy of financial abundance
  • You have to work hard and sell your soul to get money
  • Money is the root of all evil
  • People who have lots of money “stand on other people’s necks to get it”

Now that they’re all written down and not spinning around in my head causing chaos they’re laughable.  And conflicting.  That last one is outstanding –  I can remember being told that quite clearly and evidently it’s hung around doing no good whatsoever.  Clearly these beliefs are not serving me well and it is TIME FOR THEM TO BEGONE!

For many,  especially us baby boomers we absorbed these lessons in childhood either consciously or unconsciously and we’ve been carting them round behind us like heavy luggage ever since.  Well its time to drop those bags!

So how do we recognize our wealth wounds:

  1. Gather together your ingredients – a pencil, lots of paper and half an hour of uninterrupted time
  2. Set a timer for ten minutes and write down any beliefs you have associated with money.  If you’re finding it hard to get into the groove start with positive beliefs and  eventually the negative ones will crawl out from where they’ve been hiding.
  3. When time is up, corral all the negatives on to one clean sheet of paper.
  4. Read them and laugh – aren’t they absurd when written down?  And frequently conflicting.
  5. Now that you’ve recognized them, take some big deep breaths (because if you’re like me this would have been painful) and give yourself a massive pat on the back.  Congratulations!  You’ve taken the first step.

May this be of use to you.

Robx

 

Unplugged and offline

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The (insert favourite strong swear word here) motherboard has gone on my laptop. Consequently I have been unplugged for the last couple of weeks.  Honestly its driving me bats and I hate hate hate it.  I’d worked up a head of steam posting daily and getting into good  work habits.  Also, I hadn’t realised just how therapeutic writing is. And addictive.  I miss it!

In the meantime there has been the Grand Autumn Garden Clear Up aka hack, slash and deal to the millions of walnuts which fall in our back yard at this time of year, and an extremely tidy house, with a little bit of paid work thrown in for good measure.

Now that the Gods of House and Garden have been suitably propitiated, I will have to resort to using the office desktop which is usually the sole domain of Himself, or go to the library to write.  Whilst Himself has been very generous so far, I can see this situation rapidly wearing thin…

So hellooooooooooo out there in the dim dark recesses of cyberspace to my few followers.  Thank you for your loyalty.  Reception may be intermittent for the next few weeks but normal transmissions will resume eventually:-)

Rob

I’m On A Mission: Money Should Be Fun

Right.  I’m going to confess.  I am sh** at money, at finance, investments and all those worthy subjects that other, proper grown up people know all about.   It’s the major obstacle between me and my ideal life.  In the past I would rather have stuck forks in my eyeballs than spend any time learning about money.

BUT it is the one thing standing between me and my ideal life….which includes flying first class on Emirates and plenty of travel.  That’s not coming cheap!    So I’ve decided that I need to get an education and fast.  And if I’m struggling with this stuff then I’ll bet that plenty of other people are too.  What’s more it shouldn’t be rocket science, after all I’m the proud possessor of two degrees I should be able to figure this stuff out.  And it shouldn’t take two degrees anyway!

Even more this stuff should be fun!  Life’s too short  to waste time studying something that isn’t.  For something that’s so essential to all of us money/finances/investment has been hijacked by  white middle class males into a boring inaccessible subject.  Well I’m on a mission to remove the snore factor.

If you feel that  your financial education has been sorely lacking until now join me, I’ll be sharing my journey to get a financial education by posting about it once a week on this blog.   So follow me!   Tell your friends.  Let’s set the world on fire.  Money should be fun!

May this be of use to you

Robx