This summer has been all about earning money driving international visitors all over the lower South Island of New Zealand, which has meant that I haven’t had much time for my own outdoors adventuring. I’ve been working on self development adventures instead. Recently three of us had a day trip up Roy’s Peak. It was sooooo good to get out in the hills for a change. As you can see in the photo above the day was glorious and there was hardly a breath of wind – quite unexpected for this time of year. In case you are wondering that’s me on the left in my snazzy Adventures Before Dementia t shirt with my good friend John beside me.
The point of all this is that it’s not about three people climbing a peak. Two of them strolled up it – yes you John and Lizzie. But one of them didn’t – no surprises who that was. Yes moi, me, yours truly. I admit it here now and in public . I struggled going up that goddamn hill. I huffed and puffed and plodded. I’ve always been ashamed of the fact that I’ve struggled whenever I’ve climbed anything of any consequence. I’ve been up a few peaks by this stage in my life and if there’s is someone sweating and puffing and going reallllly slowly, chances are that it will be me. It’s literally one foot in front of another, plodding. So embarrassing. BUT dammit I do it. I get there eventually and nothing but nothing can take that achievement away.
So isn’t this a metaphor for our lives? Why are we so ashamed when we’re making a good honest effort? We may not be as fast as others or as able, or skilled, or agile, or clever, or whatever, but with determination we will get there in the end. We need to embrace our struggles, for these become our adventures, these are what make us and what ultimately become our greatest triumphs. In the heart of every difficulty there lies the seed of its solution. Your bump in the road may be someone else’s Mt Everest. So don’t laugh next time you see someone struggling with ANYTHING – give them a high five instead. They’re going at their own pace but at least they’re out there trying . At least they are having adventures and #doingwhattheycan’t.
Inspiration for this post came in part from a Casey Neistat video – watch it here. Don’t let anything stop you, be the man or woman in the arena, face marred by blood and dust, striving valiantly. Do what you can’t, have the adventure, live the dream, be the person on the iceberg (you need to watch the video to get that!)
And if you see me sweating up a hill one day, stop and say hi – I could probably use the rest!
THIS BOOK HAS ALREADY SAVED ME WHAT IT COST TO BUY AND MORE!
How often do we read books, get all fired up about them, think to ourselves how awesome they are, but then somehow never use the techniques proposed within to radically change our lives, as the claims on the cover would have us believe? This is one book that will change all that.
If, like me, you have struggled with negotiation and sales in the past then Never Split the Difference: negotiating as if your life depended on it by Chris Voss really will change your life. Voss is an ex cop from Kansas City turned senior FBI hostage negotiator, and now freelance consultant. The techniques he learned in the course of his career have been distilled into nine principles we can all use when negotiating purchases, pay rises, and relationship issues over the course of our personal and professional lives. As Voss would have it, life is one big negotiation. Voss’s techniques are quite different to the traditional Harvard style negotiation, which I’d been taught in a previous life (and which I struggled to apply). They are far more intuitive and behaviour based – about really getting inside your counterpart’s head and understanding where they are coming from. There’s a lot of listening involved.
So just how did this book save me money? I needed to return a purchase and the store were being particularly staunch about their returns policy – unreasonably so, I felt. After two unsuccessful visits and a bunch of headbanging I remembered I’d bought this book. I re read it, returned to see the manager, using my “late night DJ voice” and some careful open ended questions until we had a “that’s right” moment and she caved. A refund ensued. There was only a little bit of high fiving as we got to the car park!
So buy it here – and yes I’m an Amazon associate so I do get a small commission, but I wouldn’t recommend anything I don’t absolutely love.
Live with heart
Now that I’m back in the groove again, I want to start out right away and ‘fess up that writing this post is truly buttock-clenching. I am sharing in the hope that anyone in the same situation as me might find some encouragement to deal with their money issues. I have some beliefs around money that are seriously limiting me and I’m going to be writing a series about what I’m doing to heal myself of these.
So what exactly IS a wealth wound? It’s a negative belief associated with wealth. I’ve got Tony Robbins to thank for recognizing these, which I might add are many and varied. You name it, I’ve got it when it comes to wealth wounds and so in the name of naming, shaming and ultimately healing here’s my list.
- Money doesn’t grow on trees
- There’s not enough to go around
- It’s too expensive
- We can’t afford it
- Money is dirty
- Money is shameful
- It’s greedy to want more than the absolute minimum
- You have to do bad things to get it
- People who have lots of money are shallow
- I am not worthy of financial abundance
- You have to work hard and sell your soul to get money
- Money is the root of all evil
- People who have lots of money “stand on other people’s necks to get it”
Now that they’re all written down and not spinning around in my head causing chaos they’re laughable. And conflicting. That last one is outstanding – I can remember being told that quite clearly and evidently it’s hung around doing no good whatsoever. Clearly these beliefs are not serving me well and it is TIME FOR THEM TO BEGONE!
For many, especially us baby boomers we absorbed these lessons in childhood either consciously or unconsciously and we’ve been carting them round behind us like heavy luggage ever since. Well its time to drop those bags!
So how do we recognize our wealth wounds:
- Gather together your ingredients – a pencil, lots of paper and half an hour of uninterrupted time
- Set a timer for ten minutes and write down any beliefs you have associated with money. If you’re finding it hard to get into the groove start with positive beliefs and eventually the negative ones will crawl out from where they’ve been hiding.
- When time is up, corral all the negatives on to one clean sheet of paper.
- Read them and laugh – aren’t they absurd when written down? And frequently conflicting.
- Now that you’ve recognized them, take some big deep breaths (because if you’re like me this would have been painful) and give yourself a massive pat on the back. Congratulations! You’ve taken the first step.
May this be of use to you.
The (insert favourite strong swear word here) motherboard has gone on my laptop. Consequently I have been unplugged for the last couple of weeks. Honestly its driving me bats and I hate hate hate it. I’d worked up a head of steam posting daily and getting into good work habits. Also, I hadn’t realised just how therapeutic writing is. And addictive. I miss it!
In the meantime there has been the Grand Autumn Garden Clear Up aka hack, slash and deal to the millions of walnuts which fall in our back yard at this time of year, and an extremely tidy house, with a little bit of paid work thrown in for good measure.
Now that the Gods of House and Garden have been suitably propitiated, I will have to resort to using the office desktop which is usually the sole domain of Himself, or go to the library to write. Whilst Himself has been very generous so far, I can see this situation rapidly wearing thin…
So hellooooooooooo out there in the dim dark recesses of cyberspace to my few followers. Thank you for your loyalty. Reception may be intermittent for the next few weeks but normal transmissions will resume eventually:-)